Chuck vrs Spy Humor
by j.santacruz98
Summary: Major Casey loves to interject humor in his dealings with Chuck. Remembering when Chuck learned the Tango for a mission . Well he did learn the female part. But it was time to punk out Chuck again and his partner Sarah Walker. They had become close and it was a sort of initiation for the two. Also he knew that they both had feelings for each other but what the hell
1. Chapter 1

**Chuck vrs Spy Humor:**

 _ **Since coming to Burbank and assigned to the NERD Bartowski, Major John Casey had always tried to get him get him with his dry spy humor. He remembers how he laughed inside when Chuck attempted to learn the Tango when Casey tricked him, believing it would be necessary for the Mission success against El Cuidad. But it had been some time since Casey had been able to pull one of his jokes on Chuck.**_

 _ **But the difference was his new partner Sarah Walker had become one of the best partners her had ever had, and he knew she and Bartowski had feelings for one another. But also realized it had been awhile since he had punked a partner. He was aching to play a joke on both of them. So he finally came out with an idea to get both of them. However he needed to get the help of one Diane Beckman. In her day as a field agent the general had been known to pull a practical joke in her day.**_

 _ **So the plan was set in motion, Beckman arranged for the team to go for some much needed R &R to Las Vegas. The past several months had been rather busy for the team so she told them she was arranging some much needed down time before new missions would be assigned. Unknowingly to Sarah and Chuck they failed to see the tiny grin on the side of her face when she looked over to Major Casey.**_

"Thank you General we really appreciate having time to relax and to be honest I've never been to Las Vegas." Chuck interjected.

"Well Chuck I am certain that Major Casey and Sarah can give you a tour and give you all an enjoyable time, "The General replied holding back the laughter that was building inside her.

"Well thank you on my part as well" Sarah injected..

"Well Bartowski I am going to show you two the sights and maybe finally make a man out of you. "a grunt of approval escaped Major Casey's face.

However that brief moment did not escape Sarah Walkers notice. She felt abit uneasy but could not fully explain why. The team packed up and Chuck told Ellie that he and Sarah and John would be heading for a mini-vacation in Las Vegas.

"I really wish Devon and I could come but we have to work this weekend" Ellie replied with regret.

"See you when we get back, love you." Chuck replied.

The three drove the hours to Las Vegas and checked into their hotel rooms, Chuck a little surprised that Sarah and he would be sharing a room together. But Casey explained that he was still the Intersect and it would be better for her to be with him than he and the Major.

The evening went perfectly after a fine meal they enjoyed a show and then went out to some much needed drinks and music. Major Casey then set his plan in motion for the gag of all gags on his partners. He had the NSA make all the necessary things he needed for this to work. It was his time to buy the round of drinks and he pulled out the 'nightshade'.

Nightshade was a drug his agency had recently developed that could knock out a person, mimic alcohol intoxication for 6 hours and also have some mild amnesia affects. While it was harmless overall, it did get the job done when

Casey knew that Sarah could hold her liquor as could as he did so he needed something abit extra. Time for his prank to begin.

The next morning Sarah awoke very groggy and not understanding how she had drunk so much .But even more curious was she realized she was naked under the bed sheets, and then she heard a soft moan next to her. Sarah slowly turned and saw a man next to her, who was obviously very naked as well. Then she noted the brown curls and mouthed O—M-G, all she could expel from her mouth was," Chuck!"

Chuck could only groan," Uhhhhhhhhhh, so wasted, I have never drunk so much before."

Then his brain slowly kicked in realizing that he and Sarah were in the same bed, and opening his eyes saw the curve of her breasts coming into view. His eyes shot open like a shock put, "Sarah what are you doing here?, YOUR NAKED! SARAH YOU'RE NAKED IN BED WITH ME! "Then he glanced down and the realization came to him "Oh my God, I'm naked! WE"RE BOTH NAKED SARAH!"

Chuck became very nervous and babbled his words because this was either the most fantastic dream or a sick nightmare for him. He loved Sarah so much but had realized there could not be anything more between them because the CIA/NSA would never condone a real relationship between them. They would take Sarah and reassign her and Chuck in turn would be through to the deepest, darkest bunker they had in the government stores. Then he noticed the gold ring on his hand and looking over to Sarah saw she was also earing on her hand.

"Sarah you have a wedding ring on , and I seem to have one as well. What did we do last night?" Chuck softly and somewhat startled asked.

"Chuck I can't explain anything. I can usually hold my alcohol but I'm in a fog as much as you seem to be."

"Sarah do you think we got ma-? " Chuck softly asked.

"I don't know chuck but I really need to use the bathroom, when I get back let's get some answers." She replied.

Walking past the hotel room she saw her as well as Chucks thrown around the bedroom and on the table in the room she saw it. On the table and a marriage certificate and pictures of them kissing and showing off the wedding bands to one another.

The realization of the enormity of what was in her hands finally hit her and the bed sheet which was covering her naked body fell to the ground. There stood Sarah Walker bare assed naked and her cute butt in full display for one Charles Irving Bartowski. Who one he fully realized what was being seen in front of his eyes, almost stopped breathing. He was overcome at the wondrous sight of Sarah Walker his beautiful blood goddess totally bare assed naked. His mind did a massive brain dump when a thought quickly passed his mind" OH god ,what a sexy ass you have Sarah!"

Then a big grin and an even bigger "OH Boy" escaped his lips.


	2. Chapter 2

**,Spy Humor 2:**

 **Chuck had finally calmed down after seeing Sarah's quite naked rear in all her glory. Part of him was dreading that this a cruel dream he would soon awaken from. Sarah then appeared from the bathroom still wrapped in the bed sheet around her nude form. He was about to hyperventilate seeing the love of his life in such a lovely sight in front of him. But Sarah calmed him down**

" **Chuck, we need to talk "she began.**

" **I think that a certain someone is trying to pull a practical joke, and that person being a certain Major we know." Sarah added.**

" **You don't think he did all this to mess with us." Chuck interjected.**

" **I don't know for certain Chuck but he has been know to punk his previous partners in the past. "Sarah replied.**

 **Chucks face grew solemn and a serious look came to his face, and he said one word, "TANGO!"**

" **What, what Chuck?"**

" **Yes tango Sarah! Do you remember the first mission I was on with you when we went against Le Cuidad?"**

" **Yes why" Sarah asked,**

" **Well Casey tricked me into learning how to Tango. He made me believe it was important I learn it for the success of the mission. The problem was Devon showed me the woman's side, God how embarrassing!"**

 **Sarah gave out a small giggle as she remembered. "But you looked so cute, Chuck."**

" **Ahhhh, thank you Sarah , I remembered how much he enjoyed punking my ass, Damm him!"**

" **So you think all this was his effort of a practical joke, Sarah?"**

" **Maybe Chuck, could you see if you can get a flash on this marriage license from the intersect Chuck and see what you find?"**

" **Ok, Sarah."**

 **At this point Chuck began to flash and found out that the NSA had the ability to forge documents and make photo-shop pictures of anything they wanted for their missions. He also found out about the use of 'Night Shade' drug used to knock out their targets without any residual effects other than a mild amnesia. He flashed also on the Rules and procedures of both the CIA &NSA agencies and about relationships agents could have and not have. Also included was restrictions the agencies would face if they involved themselves to an actually married Agent couple. Sarah had gotten worried since she had never seen chuck flash this long and it took a while to recover from it.**

" **Are you ok Chuck you had me worried." She asked**

" **I'm ok Sarah but we really need to talk, ready?"**

" **Yes Chuck"**

" **Sarah this is a setup from Casey at his attempt of bad humor. However during my flash I found something out very interesting in fact."**

" **Tell me Chuck, what is it?"**

" **I found out that since we are not legally married they could pull us apart, send you away and throw me into a deep dark hole. However if we really got married, for real, they couldn't do that and in fact they would be the ones in deep shit. "**

 **Sarah's brain was catching up with what Chuck was telling her. Then a huge brilliant grin formed on her face and her blue eyes burned brightly as the words tried to come out.**

" **So Sarah I love you, I always have and always will. From the first moment I saw you I felt that you were a dream that I never wanted to wake from. You made my heart melt with your sweet smile. So Miss Sarah Walker will you do me the honor of marrying me for real?"**

 **Sarah's heart jumped out of chest by the way she was feeling, she had been wanting to hear Chuck say these very words to her for so long. But her fear of being reassigned and taken away from him made her push him away instead of pulling him closer to him. She grabbed his bed sheet pulling him closer and kissed him sweetly and the more ravenously.**

" **Yes Chuck, I will.**

 **Chuck at this point was so happy and it could not be denied that the sight of this sexy blond goddess being so near to him and quite naked was beginning to wear through any defenses he may have had. Almost unconsciously his bold began to react and his own body began to react to the shear closeness and hearing Sarah say yes to his proposal.**

 **Gazing down Sarah felt a certain asset of Chuck's inadvertently strike her bare thigh. If she were at the field, she would have thought her attacker was packing a very large weapon. But she looked down and saw that her chuck was certainly packing a magnum and smiled at her Chuck. A smile that seemed a hungry tigress ready to devour her meal in front of her.**

" **My Chuck, I never thought you carried such a very large and oh so hard of a weapon. Are you going to attack me into submission? Sarah coyly said with a mischievous grin on her face.**

" **Well Ms. Walker, this weapon is at your disposal 24/7 and for your use anytime my dear. "Chuck answered trying to sound jokingly ominous.**

" **Oooooohhhhhhhh, "Sarah replied, "I never knew you could be so dangerous Chuck" smiling back**

" **Only to you Sarah, only for you."**

 **Chuck then took her in his arms and kissed her so passionately that he wanted to convey the love he had for her now and always for his Sarah.**

 **Sarah could only let her eyes grow wide and she felt just how much her NERD truly felt for her.**

' **O-M-G' she thought to herself as her body betrayed the passion her own body was conveying to him as well.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Spy Humor 3:**

 **The realization at the gift being given to both Chuck and Sarah did not escape either of them. They both came finally clean at their feelings and love for each other. They finally consummated that love and expressed their devotion to one another. The humor was that Sarah and Chuck had been having very vivid and erotic fantasies of how it would be once they finally made love for real. They finally realized that their individual fantasies fell far short of the reality. No man even pushed Sarah Walker to the heights she felt when Chuck made love to her. Chuck on his part had never been with a woman who truly 'Rocked his World'.**

" **My God Chuck you broke me", Sarah groaned after the marathon love making with her Nerd. "I never had a man so well equipped like you and I think I passed out a few times" she giggled.**

" **You, how about me! I never thought I would be blessed with a woman like you Sarah. I think I pulled every muscle in my body."**

 **They both laughed in each others arms and Sarah smiling so ge it threatened to break her face. "Chuck we need to marry for real before they try to stop us don't you think!"**

" **Your right Sarah how about I hop in the shower and we can get ready?"**

" **How about we hop in the shower ."Sarah countered in reply.**

 **Chucks eyes just enlarged double their size at the thought.**

 **Several hours later Chuck and Sarah left the City hall and were now legally Mr. and Mrs. Bartowski and had a real marriage certificate and a plan to get their revenge and also thank Casey for this wonderful development in their lives. They went back to their hotel room to eat and a wild afternoon of unbridled passion for themselves. Several hours past and a loud pounding came to their hotel room door.**

" **Bartowski, Walker open up why haven't you two been returning my calls. I feel like the little kid being picked last. Open up!"** **The door finally opened and their stood Chuck in his bathrobe. Casey was ready to give them a hard time and pull his gag to completion.**

" **Hi Casey, sorry but Sarah and I have been busy." Chuck answered**

 **Upon entering the room Casey could actually smell the overpowering odor of raw sex having been occurring in the room. He looked over to the bed and their on the bed being just barely covering her nude body was his partner Sarah Walker.**

" **Uugggggg Casey what do you want ? Can't I enjoy my husband without interruptions, she groaned."**

" **What the fuck Walker! What do mean husband? "Casey retorted knowing of his joke.**

 **He thought to himself they couldn't be so gullible to have thought they had actually gotten married. But he also knew that it would be hard to explain if his superiors found out or Sarah got herself knocked up by the Asset.**

" **Well I hope you two used some protection at least?" Casey asked.**

" **Now John why would I use protection with my husband since we want to have a lot, and lots of babies together? "Sarah replied**

 **John Casey with that remark thought I think it's time to come clean. This came even more apparent as Chuck came close to Sarah and they kissed passionately and she grabbed Chuck's personal asset stroking him. Casey became flustered at how easy Sarah seemed to enjoy her trophy in her hand. Casey also for the first time was at a loss of words when he thought he heard Sarah actually purring.**

" **Look guys I have to come clean, I pulled a small joke on you both. I didn't think it would have gone this far. I thought you both would be more freaked out. I kind of drugged you both and made it appear that you two had gotten married . I had the NSA forge the certificate, and the pictures. "Casey finally admitted.**

 **Both Chuck and Sarah turned to Casey, gave him a glaring look. At first Casey was actually afraid that he would be found in tiny pieces after Walker was through with him. But just as suddenly a wicked smile came to both of their faces and together replied, "We know, Casey!"**

 **Casey's jaw just dropped that they had already known and were still actively kissing and petting each other. Now it was Casey's jaw to drop when he finally heard it.**

" **Casey that is why Sarah and I, actually got married this morning." Chuck stated.**

" **Yes Casey, you did Chuck and I a great favor. We both realized your little scam, but when Chuck used the intersect we found out that there is a big loop hole in the regulations. If Chuck and I actually got married they couldn't reassign me or drop Chuck down a dark hole. Plus they would have to make him an Analyst with special privileges so we could be together. So John you made all this possible for us." Sarah continued to say.**

" **As to protection, I need none I am ready and available to service my husband in any and all capacity as his wife. I am kind of hoping he has and will thoroughly knock his new wife up. I always wanted a family and babies in our lives."**

" **Walker, you can't be serious?" Casey asked.**

" **John, Sarah Walker is dead and I am Mrs. Sarah Bartowski. I am married to the kindest, sweetest, and loving man in the world. He always thought he was beneath me. But John, the real truth is, it was me who was beneath him. I felt I did not deserve such a wonderful man but he is a gift. Without him I am just a spy John, but with him I have a future with a marvelous man, and true love, and hopefully children with him.**

 **Casey felt bad at the thought of his actions but happy in a way that he had brought them together . But fear crossed his face, and he actually started to sweat.**

" **What's wrong Casey?" Chuck asked concerned about his friend.**

" **Beckman!" John replied.**

 **Chuck then grew worried as well.**

" **What is wrong Chuck?" Sarah asked**

" **I am not worried about General Beckman, but the real question is Ellie! What is Ellie going to think!' Chuck replied.**

 **Then all three iof them got extremely worried as how Ellie would react finding out Sarah and her brother had eloped!**

 **Double the Bartowski and double the fun! LOL**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ellie finds out.**

 **Chuck and Sarah had turned things around with Casey over his prank, and had actually gotten married in Vegas. But unknown to them, Ellie and Devon had finished their work and decided to surprise our trio in Vegs as a family getaway. Shortly after their encounter with Casey a knock came to the door.**

" **Room service" the voice exclaimed.**

 **Chuck went to open the door and was greeted with Ellie and Devon yelling "SURPRISE!"**

 **Chucks mouth dropped and began stammering, and it was Ellie whose keen eye quickly scanned the room not only the overpowering odor of rampant sex, but Sarah trying to quickly cover her naked body with the bed sheet. But what quickly caught her eye was the two wedding bands on Sarah's and her brother's left hands. Ellie gave them both a stern gaze like W-T-F is going on here. Turning her gave to her brother and with a look of death on her face.**

" **Charles Irving Bartowski what has been going on here, I want answers like now!" Ellie roared.**

" **Well sis - "finding the words difficult to say.**

 **Sarah jumped in and said softly, "Ellie, we're sorry but Chuck and I kinda eloped last night."**

 **Ellie them stared at Sarah, fiercely staring at her and for the first time since joining the CIA Sarah Walker now Sarah Bartowski felt fear in the pit of her stomach. Sitting down to compose herself, Devon sat next to his wife and just looked at the pair.**

" **Ellie please don't be mad but it just happened." Chuck said.**

" **I'm not made I'm just upset you didn't include me on this decision, I really wanted to be here when my little brother made the big leap into marriage." Ellie responded.**

" **Ellie I love Sarah and I really don't wasn't to not have her as part of my life, but this happened as of a result of Casey's prank."**

 **Soo chuck and Sarah explained how Casey had pranked them trying to get them to think they had gotten married after getting them drunk and waking up to the revelation, but finding out the truth they found it a great way to finally really be together by getting married for real and being together finally. But also getting back at Casey's joke as well.**

 **So Ellie, went to Sarah took her in a big hug and smiled at her. "I wish I could have been there Sarah but welcome to the family, I always wanted a sister."**

 **Sarah was initially awestruck by Ellies gesture but returned her heart warmed hug in kind. Tears starting to form on both women.**

 **Devon just yelling out to Sarah, "Welcome to the family Sarah!"**

 **Then a heavy knock came to the door, Chuck knowing it must be Casey returning. Ellie just waved her brother away as she went for the door.**

" **Bartowski what took you so long I have some news for you two! "Casey only got out .**

 **As his eyes focused on the person at the door, Casey say Ellie there with a look that would make a Marine quiver in their boots.**

" **John please come in, I need to speak with you, and now!" Ellie firmly commanded.**

 **Major John Casey just looked at his two partners in the room with a look of fear and saying to himself is it too late to find a Terrorist or Arms dealer to take me prisoner and torture me?**

 **Turning to Ellie he looked at her, "I'm in trouble aren't I"**

" **Yes John, yes you are, now sit your ass down now soldier!" Ellie commanded.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Spyhumor**

 **The preverbal dung has hit the fan as Major John Casey sat at the elder Bartowski's apartment. He found it hard to look her straight in the eye after his practical joke went south. He had stood again terrorists, murders, weapons dealers, and the whole gambit of wrong doers without a single bead of sweat dripping down his forehead. But right now he wished they were in front of him and not Eleanor Bartowski staring him down. Never had the Major felt the beginning of sheer terror and fear grip him. He scolded himself for allowing himself to be so unnerved by the force of nature that was Chuck's sister, especially when she was pissed royally off. He silently thought he could ask Sarah to stab him or maybe shot him, but he caught the glance of Sarah's face giving him the look. A look he knew all too well of you dug your own grave Casey, deal with the consequences.**

 **For the first time John Casey was at a total loss for words, his grunts meek squeaks , he thought to himself 'My hands are sweating!'. He never sweated before even when he was faced being tortured against Afghan Warlords.**

" **John Casey!" Ellie began I don't know whether to be royal pissed at you for this Morgan level joke or run over to you and give you a big slobbering wet kiss at your initiative to put a fire under Chuck's and Sarah's butts.!"**

" **What the hell, did I miss something, aren't you angry with me Ellie?" Casey meekly asked.**

" **Yes I am mad John because you did not make me a part of this little plot of yours, but happy that other than me and Devon you were the only one of Chuck's and Sarah's friends who cared enough about them to push the issue."**

" **Oh, what the hell!" Ellie squealed and ran up to John and planned a big wet slobbering kiss on his lips. No one had ever seen John Casey blush before, and especially a dark shade of crimson red and his eyes glass over. Also for everyone present, to find John Casey at a total loss for words. He couldn't even get his usual grunts out.**

 **Both Sarah and Chuck were at a loss for words at the site, but they were soon not so much asked but ordered by the elder Bartowski sibling to sit down.**

 **Chuck was already worried about his sisters tone, knowing how she was during the time of growing up with her being mother, father, and big sister.**

" **Now for you two, don't mistake that either one of you is in the free and clear." Ellie sternly spoke.**

" **Chuck I am your sister and nothing gets past me, and Sarah I love you dearly but I know that this BS between you and your now husband has gone far enough. I have seen the two of you as well as John here trying to pull a fast one over my eyes . But I don't fool so easy, and if you three are not completely open and honest with me, there will be a body count I will have to call the police on. SO SPILL IT before I blow my stack on each of you. Chuck was already aware of how Ellie was when she was about to blow. While Sarah scared him when she was angry, Ellie on the other hand he totally feared."**

" **Uhhhh, Ellie please try to understand things were complicated." Chuck tried to explain but between a rock and a hard place.**

 **Ellie stared down Sarah who was nervous; she had faced all sorts of criminals, terrorists, but was at a loss trying to face one Eleanor Bartowski. She had the look that even the training she had received in the CIA never prepared her for.**

 **Ellie softly spoke, well I know the weak link in your little band, turning toward the two men Chuck thought he would be suffering the brunt of her onslaught. But that was not to be, she went to John Casey, softly caressed the side of his head and speaking to him in his ear smiled.**

" **John I know your weakness and by the time I'm through with you Johnny I will have you begging like a baby."**

 **Ellie grabbed him by his ear twisting it. "You might be a big man John Casey, but I know how to break you down. "**

 **John's eyes widened at her remark and the fear of lay before him by the look of Eleanor Bartowski made him quake in his shoes. He kept thinking how the Nerd's sister can cause this in him. He kept chastising himself for his lack of courage but looking at Ellie's face just reaffirmed that she was a woman to be reckoned with.**

" **Bartowski!, Yelling at Chuck I am not trained for this. Either spill it to your sister or she will end me."**

 **Chuck finally opened his mouth unwilling to see his friend suffer the torture of the Ellie inquisition. "Ok Ellie , please I will talk but you need to promise me what we tell you stays here between us."**

 **Ellie smiled at Chuck and laughed softly," You were always so easy to break little brother!"**

" **What? " Chuck replied.**

 **Ellie smirked and said. "When you in a fight, if you pick on the biggest guy and threaten him the rest will fall in line. Don't you realize Chuck I love you but you are so easy for me to get to have you open up to me."**

" **Some kinda of spy you would make little brother!" Ellie laughed.**

" **Oh boy, now Ellie about that …" Chuck replied.**


End file.
